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How to Choose a Sex Toy for Your Partner

If you want to choose a sex toy for your partner, start by asking what feels good—clitoral, vaginal, or anal stimulation. Open communication really helps you both feel comfortable. Many couples find that trying new things brings them closer. In fact:

  • Over 75% of mixed-gender couples say using toys together improved their sex lives.

  • People enjoy many types of touch, like kissing, cuddling, and massage.

Keep things safe and simple, especially if you’re new. Treat it like a sex toy gift guide just for the two of you.

Key Takeaways

  • Talking openly is very important. Ask your partner what they like for stimulation. This helps everyone feel safe and happy.

  • Pick sex toys made from safe materials. This keeps both people healthy. It also makes things more fun.

  • If you are new, start with easy toys. Beginner toys help you trust each other. They also make trying new things fun.

  • Sex toys can make your relationship stronger. They help you talk more and share new things. This can help you feel closer.

  • Make the mood nice before you start. A calm place helps you feel safe and close when you try new things.

Why Sex Toys for Couples

Benefits for Intimacy

You might ask why couples use sex toys together. The reason is simple. Sex toys for couples can help you feel closer. They can also make your relationship feel new and fun. When you and your partner try something different, you can find more pleasure. You might also feel more excited. Many couples say sex toys for couples help them feel happier and closer in their sex lives.

Look at what studies have found:

Study/Source

Findings

European survey of 12,000 adults

Women who used sex toys with their spouse felt happier in their sexual and emotional relationships.

Kinsey Institute survey

78% of women said sex toys helped them learn about their bodies and talk better with their spouse.

Nationally representative study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine

Over half of married women used a vibrator or clitoral stimulator, and 70% felt more satisfied.

Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion

Women who used sex toys with their spouse were happier in their relationships and talked more openly.

These studies show that sex toys for couples do more than just make sex fun. They help you and your partner talk about what feels good. This leads to better talking and a stronger relationship.

Strengthening Connection

When you and your partner start to explore together, you build trust. You also grow your connection. Talking honestly about what you both like can make your relationship stronger. Here are some ways sex toys for couples help you connect:

Couples often try sex toys because they want to share more and feel closer. When you both feel safe and happy, your relationship can grow in new ways.

Understanding Your Partner’s Preferences

Types of Stimulation

When you want to pick a sex toy, you need to know what kind of stimulation your partner enjoys. Some people like gentle touch, while others want something more intense. You can start by talking about what feels good. Try asking your partner if they like clitoral, vaginal, or oral stimulation. Many people in long-term relationships have favorite ways to feel pleasure. Here’s a quick look at what brings the most satisfaction:

Type of Stimulation

Associated Satisfaction Level

Oral Sex

High sexual satisfaction

Clitoral Stimulation (by partner)

Predictor for orgasm satisfaction

Clitoral Self-Stimulation Techniques

Common preferences among women

You might notice your partner enjoys more than one type. Listen closely and ask questions. This helps you both feel comfortable and excited to try new things.

Comfort and Experience Level

Your partner’s comfort matters most. If they are new to sex toys, start simple. You can ask them how they feel about trying something new. Pick a time when you both feel relaxed. Use “I” statements, like “I want to know what you like.” This makes the talk feel safe.

Tip: Listen without judging. Let your partner share their thoughts and feelings. Show empathy and let them know you care.

Here are some ways to make your partner feel valued:

  • Listen to their likes and dislikes.

  • Accept their ideas, even if they are different from yours.

  • Work together to find what you both enjoy.

If you and your partner have different preferences, try to find a middle ground. You can talk about what you both want and look for toys that fit both needs. When you show respect and care, your partner will feel more open to exploring new types of stimulation with you.

Choosing for Your Partner

When you pick a sex toy for your partner, think about comfort and safety. You want your partner to feel happy and safe. It is important that they feel excited to try something new. The right toy can help you both feel closer. Good communication is very important. Ask your partner what they like. Listen carefully to their answers. You can take a quiz together or talk about what you want to try. This makes things fun and helps you both learn about each other’s favorite spots.

Body-Safe Materials

Safety is the most important thing when picking beginner sex toys for couples. You want to keep your partner healthy and make sure they feel good. Some materials are safer than others. Health experts say to pick toys made from body-safe materials. These are easy to clean and do not cause skin problems. Here are some good choices:

  • Medical-grade and body-safe silicone

  • Borosilicate glass

  • Stainless steel

  • Gold

  • Silver

  • Chlorine-free vinyl

  • ABS plastic

  • Lucite

Always check the label for these materials when you shop. Do not use toys made from jelly rubber or porous materials. These can hold germs and are hard to clean. Using body-safe materials keeps your partner safe and helps you both have more fun.

Simplicity for Beginners

If you are new to sex toys, start with something simple. Beginner sex toys for couples should be easy to use and not too big. You want your first time to feel good and not scary. Here are some things that make beginner sex toys for couples a good choice:

Feature

Description

Comfort

Toys should feel good and have soft tips for easy use.

Safety

Silicone or glass are best for keeping your body safe.

Simplicity

Toys should be easy to use, with simple buttons and controls.

Size

Small sizes are best for beginners to make things easy.

You can also use these tips when picking your first couples’ toy:

  • Try a small vibrator first.

  • Pick toys with different vibration settings.

  • Make sure you can change how strong it feels.

Here is an easy way to remember what to look for:

  1. Pick toys that are simple and easy to use.

  2. Choose body-safe materials.

  3. Look for small and comfortable sizes.

Beginner sex toys for couples help you and your partner trust each other. You can focus on having fun together and not feel nervous. When you keep things simple, you both feel more ready to try new things.

Intended Use

Think about how you and your partner want to use the toy. Do you want something for clitoral stimulation, vaginal play, or something you both use? Beginner sex toys for couples come in many shapes and sizes. Each one is made for a different kind of fun. When you pick your first couples’ toy, make sure it fits what you want and feels right for you both.

You should also think about these things:

Factor

Description

Material

Pick body-safe materials like silicone, glass, or metal instead of jelly rubber.

Budget

Decide how much you want to spend; better toys can cost more.

Stimulation Preferences

Talk about what feels best; different toys do different things.

Practical Needs

Think about toys that help with physical needs or make things easier.

Intended Use

Make sure the toy is safe for what you want to do.

  • Material: Pick body-safe materials to keep things clean and safe.

  • Budget: Decide how much money you want to spend.

  • Stimulation Preferences: Talk with your partner about what feels good.

  • Practical Needs: Think about any special needs you both have.

  • Intended Use: Make sure the toy is right for what you want to try.

When you think about these things, you show your partner you care. This helps you both trust each other and feel closer. Relationship intimacy sex toys are not just about sex. They are about talking, sharing, and having fun together. You and your partner can try new things and grow closer as a couple.

Sex Toys for Couples: Types and Uses

Sex Toys for Couples: Types and Uses
Image Source: pexels

Vibrators for Couples

Vibrators are a very common choice for couples who are new to sex toys. You and your partner can use a vibrator to try new feelings together. Vibrators can help you both talk about what feels good. If you want to use a vibrator, start with a simple one. Try out the different settings to see what you like.

  • Studies say vibrators can help couples feel closer and improve sex.

  • Women who use vibrators often feel more desire and happiness.

  • Men also feel more desire and happiness when using a vibrator with their partner.

  • Couples who use vibrators talk more and feel closer.

Try putting the vibrator on different body parts to see what feels best. You can use it during sex or before sex as foreplay. Vibrators come in many shapes, so you can find one that works for you.

Remote-Controlled Toys

Remote-controlled toys are another fun choice for couples who are just starting out. These toys let your partner control the toy, even if they are far away. You can use them when you are together or apart, which helps you feel close.

  • Remote-controlled toys help couples share special moments, even if they are not together.

  • These toys help you talk about what you like, which brings you closer.

  • They make things more exciting than just talking.

Some remote-controlled toys use WiFi, so you can play with your partner from anywhere. This is great for couples who live far apart or want to try something new.

Double-Ended and Shared Toys

Double-ended and shared toys are good for couples who want to try new things together. These toys let both people feel good at the same time. You can use them alone or with your partner, which makes things more fun.

  • Double-ended toys can be used alone or with a partner.

  • Both people can feel pleasure, which helps you feel closer.

  • These toys give you new feelings that other toys do not.

  • You and your partner can try different shapes and sizes.

Always talk with your partner about what feels good and make sure you both agree before using shared toys. Clean these toys well to keep things safe.

Dildos and Strap-Ons

Dildos and strap-ons are classic choices for couples who are new to sex toys. You can use them in many ways to try new kinds of pleasure. Some couples use strap-ons for pegging, where a woman uses it to penetrate a man. Others use them for sex between women or to help with erectile dysfunction.

  • Couples may enjoy double penetration or oral play with strap-ons.

  • These toys help you try new things and feel closer.

Dildos and strap-ons come in many sizes and materials. Pick one that feels safe and comfortable for both of you. Always talk about what you both want before trying something new.

Tip: Trying different beginner sex toys for couples can help you and your partner find new ways to feel close and enjoy each other.

Sex Toy Gift Guide: Shopping Tips

Sex Toy Gift Guide: Shopping Tips
Image Source: pexels

Research and Reviews

When you start your sex toy gift guide journey, research is your best friend. You want to know what works and what doesn’t before you buy. Trusted review sites can help you find the best beginner sex toys for couples. Look for expert approval, honest user reviews, and clear information. Here’s what you should check:

Feature

Description

Expert Approval

Experts check and fact-check all advice, so you get safe, smart choices.

Transparency

Good sites show all info up front, with no hidden fees.

User Reviews

Real people share their experiences, so you know what to expect.

Reading reviews helps you avoid surprises. You can see if a toy is comfortable, easy to use, or worth the price. Always check if the toy fits your partner’s needs and your budget.

Where to Shop

A great sex toy gift guide always points you to safe, reliable stores. Choose shops that sell only body-safe products. Look for beginner sex toys for couples made from medical-grade silicone or stainless steel. These materials last longer and keep you safe. Good stores test their toys for durability and hygiene. They also follow strict safety rules and have certifications like CE or RoHS.

Tip: If a toy smells strange or the packaging looks cheap, skip it. Quality matters for both fun and safety.

Avoiding Common Mistakes

Many people make mistakes when shopping for beginner sex toys for couples. Here are some things to watch out for:

  • Don’t buy a toy just because it’s popular. Make sure it fits your partner’s preferences and anatomy.

  • Don’t assume one toy works for everyone. People have different needs, just like with shoes.

  • Don’t forget to read reviews before you buy.

  • Don’t stick to one brand if it doesn’t work for you. Try different types until you find the right fit.

A smart sex toy gift guide helps you avoid these mistakes. Focus on quality, comfort, and what makes you both happy. Shopping for sex toys can be fun and easy when you know what to look for.

Talking with Your Partner

Starting the Conversation

Talking to your partner about sex toys can feel a little awkward at first, but you can make it easier. The best time to bring it up is when you both feel relaxed and not in the middle of sex. Try these steps to start:

  1. Begin the talk outside the bedroom, maybe during a walk or while having coffee.

  2. Share what you like about your intimacy and say you want to make things even better.

  3. Use positive words. Say what you want to try, not what you think is missing.

  4. Ask your partner how they feel about trying something new.

  5. Explore ideas together and see what excites both of you.

  6. Try using a “Yes, No, Maybe” list. You both can mark what you want to try, what you don’t, and what you might consider.

Open communication helps couples feel safe and excited to explore new things. When you talk honestly, you build trust and make your relationship stronger.

Addressing Concerns

Sometimes your partner may have worries about using sex toys. That’s normal. You can help by listening and showing you care.

Try coming from a place of exploration, where sex toys are seen as exciting additions to your sex life, rather than critiques of current experiences.

  • Listen to your partner’s concerns and let them know their feelings matter.

  • Share why you want to try something new and how it could add fun to your intimacy.

  • Respect your partner’s boundaries. Never push them to do something they don’t want.

  • Look for options that feel good for both of you.

  • Give your partner time to think about it. Patience shows you care.

If talking about sex toys feels too hard, you can ask a counselor for help. Sometimes a professional can make these talks easier and help couples grow closer.

Making Choices Together

Choosing a sex toy should be a team effort. You and your partner can make it a fun part of your intimacy. Here are some tips:

  • Communicate openly and listen to each other’s ideas.

  • Pick a time when you both feel calm and happy.

  • Start with simple toys to see what you both enjoy.

  • Explore new things together and share feedback.

  • Always respect each other’s limits and find what works for both.

When you make choices together, you build trust and keep your relationship strong. Trying new things as a team can bring more joy and closeness to your sex life.

First-Time Use and Aftercare

Setting the Mood

You want your first time with a new toy to feel special. Setting the mood can make a big difference. Try these steps to help you and your partner relax and enjoy the moment:

  1. Charge your toy before you start.

  2. Get to know your toy’s settings and features.

  3. Create a cozy space with soft lighting or music.

  4. Explore each other’s bodies before using the toy.

  5. Use water-based lube for comfort and pleasure.

  6. Start with the lowest setting and go slow.

  7. Increase the intensity only when you both feel ready.

  8. Focus on the experience, not just reaching orgasm.

  9. Invite your partner to join in when you feel comfortable.

  10. Afterward, wash, charge, and store your toy safely.

A calm and inviting mood helps you both feel more connected. You can laugh, talk, and explore together. This makes sex more fun and less stressful.

Safety and Hygiene

Keeping things safe and clean is important for every couple. Good hygiene protects you and your partner from germs and keeps your toys in great shape. Here are some tips for safety and hygiene:

If you want to know how to clean sex toys properly, use warm water and mild soap or a toy cleaner. For non-motorized toys, you can boil them for a few minutes. Porous toys like jelly or rubber need extra care, so always use a condom with them to keep things safe.

Aftercare and Feedback

After sex, aftercare helps you and your partner feel cared for and happy. You can help each other with cleaning up, take a shower together, or just cuddle. Drink some water or have a light snack to help your body recover. Small acts of kindness, like a gentle touch or a kind word, can make your partner feel loved.

You can also talk about what you liked or what you want to try next time. This feedback helps you both enjoy sex even more. Taking care of each other after sex builds trust and keeps your relationship strong.

 

Picking a sex toy for your partner can be fun and help you feel closer. Begin by talking openly about sex and what you both like. Choose toys made from safe materials. Make sure the toy feels right for your partner. When you try new things together, you build trust. You also make your bond stronger and share special moments.

Sharing these times can make your relationship more exciting and help you feel even closer. Have fun exploring and enjoy every new thing you learn together.

FAQ

How do I know which sex toy my partner will like?

Ask your partner about their favorite types of touch or pleasure. You can also look at what they enjoy during intimacy. Try a “Yes, No, Maybe” list together. This helps you both find new ideas and makes the choice easier.

Are sex toys safe to use together?

Yes, sex toys are safe if you pick body-safe materials and keep them clean. Always wash toys before and after use. Use water-based lube for comfort. If you share toys, use a condom for extra safety.

What if my partner feels nervous about trying a sex toy?

It’s normal to feel nervous. Start with a simple toy and talk openly. Let your partner share their feelings. Go slow and check in often. Remind them that you want both of you to feel good and comfortable.

Can we use sex toys if we are in a long-distance relationship?

Absolutely! Remote-controlled toys work well for long-distance couples. You can control the toy from anywhere using an app. This helps you stay close and have fun, even when you are apart.

How do I clean and store sex toys?

Wash toys with warm water and mild soap or a special toy cleaner. Dry them well before storing. Keep toys in a clean pouch or box. Always check the instructions for your specific toy.

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